New beginnings
the summer passed me by like sand falling through my fingers, such that at the end, I stood on a beach of my own lost time, staring into the loss of friendship an brotherhood. I felt entirely alone, and within that loneliness, something new blossomed.
I am myself for once and for all, I am in between man and woman, and I am in between suffering and grand delight. I am me, an intersection of all I have ever felt and lived. I've wept and I've laughed, I've listened carefully to the midnight wind, and dreamt of the morning dew. I've walked to the very recesses of my being and brought back that very deep intimate knowledge of the self to the forefront of me. I've laid myself down, and given up my flailing wings for the currents of the river that is life.
It was yesterday, September 8th, 2026, that I felt the greatest elation I have felt in months. I woke, it was the first day of a brand new semester of school. This, I used to loathe, but it is now the greatest day. I went to class, and found that I have three friends in my first class, Tarek, Teagan, and Nick. Furthermore, Teagan and I share my third class of the day as well. I never realized that these people cared for me enough to reach out, and to miss me when I wasn't there.
My Chinese teacher mistook me for being Chinese because my pronunciation was apparently good.
And afterwards, Leah and I went to Ikea. We dined on potatoes and meatballs, and the creamiest cheesecake. And we wandered the detached rooms, imagining ourselves somewhere better and further away, more full with light. And now, my room and my closet is born again. It more reflects growth and hope than stagnation and resignation.
I feel like I'm gaining life anew - I have friends and purpose, and I have love and a future, and I have self-love too, the best kind, the fullest and purest, and most true and unattainable.
Anyway, I'll write later. Bye, empty void!